On staying positive and moving forward

Yesterday, I offered our summer house up for free on a Facebook forum, provided the person could come and take it away and make the area safe. Within minutes, it was a bunfight and I was inundated, but I sold it to the first person who said a definite yes (I thought) and DM’d me with all the answers I had requested. Following on, I received a number of unecessary comments from those who felt they should have been the one to get it. It went a bit like this: it was me first, no me, no I said it… you get the idea. They were posting the admin rules and tagging me in and all sorts. They might as well have added a ‘see, told you,’ alongside it.

In the end, I messaged the admin lady, apologised and said can you deal with this or I am going to end up saying something I will regret. Thankfully she did, but there were still comments coming in for the rest of the day. One lady quite rightly said that she would be surprised if I ever went on that forum again, after all it is supposed to be for selling things and I was giving mine away. That was my sentiment too. I couldn’t believe what an ungrateful bunch some of them were and how they had the cheek to call me out over it.

It just reinforces my feeling that we are such a negative race. Why is that? Why can we never look at things in a positive light, be thankful for what we have or what is offered us? It takes a lot to be a positive person. A lot more effort than the opposite. Most people find it easier to moan about everything in their lives, feeling they’ve been dealt a poor hand, telling themselves that everyone else has it better than they do.

Well I’d like to tell those people that it’s not true.

Anyone who thinks like that needs to look further than their own precious little world, open their eyes to what’s around them. They need to see their own lives for what they are and count their blessings.

The most positive people I know are the ones who have suffered a life-changing event. It seems that it takes something so drastic to happen to make us see the real truth and the people who have the least to moan about, moan the most. When something happens that dramatically changes your life, you realise many things: that life is for living, you need to make the most of your time on this earth, that life is too short.

All cliches, all true though.

This week, two people close to me received life-changing news and it’s another reminder to me that I am lucky and that I should keep pressing forward to achieve my dreams because only I can make them happen. It’s why I didn’t react to the Facebook group. What was the point? It’s down to those individuals to get out of the selfish little bubble they are living in and take a good look at their lives.

For me, it’s about moving forward. November saw me complete a full draft of around 55,000 words. It’s the second part of my series that I now see needs one more to complete Sophie and Jake’s story. Drafting is a long way away from being publication ready and I know that, but I have to keep pushing. The drive to succeed comes from balancing my life against that of the people I encountered yesterday and those close to me coming to terms with everything that has happened to them.

It takes strength to overcome adversity, it doesn’t cost anything to be nice to someone and rudeness, for me, is a sign of weakness. Yesterday, I was shaking as the comments unfolded one after the other, but I let them wash over me because I kept reminding myself that they don’t matter. Not when I look at the bigger picture anyway. Not when I think about the pain and sadness around me. It’s not important.

Can you do me a favour? Take a look around and find something that you can feel grateful about, do something nice for someone and make their day, let go of something that’s been bothering you.

I hope that by doing that you can enjoy the feeling it brings.

Comments (0)

  1. mytravelmonkey 3rd December 2015 at 1:15 pm

    Great post Nikki and reinforces so much of what I have been feeling in the last month. I have been going through some stuff, but come out the other end now, no thanks to positive posts like yours and other bloggers making me realise what i have and how lucky I am. I am determined to make my dreams come true in the next few years too, and I have that to focus on. Back to your nightmare – that is so unbelievable that you had to deal with the likes of those ungrateful people. It’s such a shame that there is so much negativity out there. Well done on coming along with your book.

  2. Nicola Young 3rd December 2015 at 1:30 pm

    Thanks hon. It’s examples like this that help to reinforce the point really. And we all need a little positive motivation to help each other out. Glad to hear you are getting through your own troubles.

  3. Emily Organ 8th December 2015 at 8:10 pm

    Oh dear that sounds unpleasant, sadly the online world can bring out that kind of behaviour. Perhaps people wouldn’t have said those things face to face. You’re right about how adversity affects people and helps them focus on what’s important in life (and it’s not moaning). A huge well done on winning at Nano, what brilliant news and you have all those words to work with now. That’s something to be really positive about!

  4. maddy@writingbubble 8th December 2015 at 8:31 pm

    What ridiculous people you encountered! We do, unfortunately live in a very ‘me, me, me’ society where we expect so much and lose sight of what’s important often I think. What’s the point of fighting over a free summer house? It seems ludicrously petty with all the stuff that people suffer in life. I think you handled it right – remaining calm, not joining in and letting it wash over you. Well done on your NaNo win, that’s brilliant! Keep moving forward – I’m sure you will. Thanks for linking to #WhatImwriting

  5. Alice @ The Filling Glass 8th December 2015 at 10:22 pm

    That sounds like an awful situation to have been in! Well done for just allowing it to wash over you – I have experienced similar strong physical reactions to stressful events and it is not the most pleasant thing. It definitely does take strength to overcome adversity, to avoid being sucked into a black hole, be proud that you could rise above it. Bullies always are the weakest people trying to convince themselves (without the goods to back it up) that they have strength, and ultimately that’s what those people were being. Love the positivity. xx

  6. sophieblovett 9th December 2015 at 12:06 pm

    So many people do seem to have such bizarrely skewed values. Such a ridiculous situation to have found yourself in when you were just trying to do something nice! And really quite horrible the things people will say from the safety of their computer screen. I hope you’ve managed to brush it off completely, but I totally understand that peoples’ words in these situations can be really hurtful. Much more importantly, congratulations on completing NaNo! I look forward to hearing more about your novel as it develops 🙂 xx

  7. glasgowdragonfly 9th December 2015 at 4:39 pm

    Sending a big hug to say “good for you” for rising above these cretins. You’re right that it just isn’t worth it and those who let trivia upset them deserve all they get. Easy said though and I’m not sure I would have been capable of showing the same restraint. You express your emotions well here and it comes as no surprise that you emerged victorious from NaNo. Keep on walking. Don’t look back xx

    • Nicola Young 10th December 2015 at 10:05 pm

      Thanks, got it! Perhaps I wouldn’t have used that restraint if things had been different, but there are more important things going on at the moment and that’s a reminder of how ridiculous the situation was and that it’s not important.

  8. Rebecca Ann Smith 10th December 2015 at 11:30 am

    What a horrible experience for you! It’s so weird when people behave like this online. But credit to you that you manage to turn it around into something positive. You’ve left me with a reminder to practice gratitude, be kind and let go of the annoying stuff – thanks!

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