Friday Fiction

by | Jan 23, 2015

This week’s Friday Fiction is inspired by the prompt ‘Family’ from Sara at mumturnedmom. Using a prompt is a great source of inspiration for your writing. I don’t know where this one came from – it’s a bit morbid really but there you go – how the mind works sometimes!

Join in the link by adding your own fiction pieces, using the blue frog link below.

All that Daniel and his older sister Lucy wanted was someone to love them. They didn’t know the meaning of the word family – just the big man who beat them and the woman who shouted a lot and never stopped crying.

When the darkness came and with it the sound of the lock on the cupboard door, all they knew is each other. At eighteen months and two and a half years, neither could speak a word except each other’s names. That was what they clung on to.

Then one day someone came and plucked them away from the only world they knew. It was a frightening time. No one shouted anymore, no one hit and both Daniel and Lucy came to realise that this was a much nicer place to be.

As kind and loving as these new parents were though, they were never able to tell the children ‘no’. Daniel soon realised that he could do anything that he wanted to do. He pushed and pushed his parents to get a reaction from them – anything, but because of his start in life, they couldn’t bear to upset him. They pleaded with him to be a better person, but Daniel just thought they were pathetic and sad people. He began to resent them.

Lucy on the other hand, didn’t seem to cause her parents any upset. As far as they were aware, she was a quiet girl who just got on with it. What they didn’t realise was that Lucy struggled socially and became so depressed that she spent most nights in her room, making slashes on her arms.

The parents didn’t guide their children on how to behave: to know right from wrong. Daniel grew up to be a bully and was always in trouble at school for hitting other children, even putting one boy in hospital. Lucy was quieter: picked on for being such an introvert, but there is only so much a person can take. One day she snapped, stabbing one bully in the hand with a compass and ending up with an expulsion.

The parents never punished either of them for the trouble they caused. Instead, they wondered what they had done wrong, but could only presume that it was something to do with the children’s early experiences that they had never gotten over. The one thing they had always longed for was a family of their own. Saving these two innocent children from certain death and giving them a loving family and a happy home was like a dream come true. Little did they know that the good dead they had done in saving these children would one day come back to haunt them.

As Daniel and Lucy stood over their mother and father, both asleep in their separate single beds, they looked at each other and smiled. Then they each took a knife and plunged it straight in to the hearts of the only people who had ever loved them – their family.


Nikki Young Writes
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  1. John Adams

    My word, THAT is a dark story! I was rather hoping for a happy ending but it had me gripped, wanting to know what was going to happen next.

    • Nicola Young

      It is the nature versus nurture idea. Does it really make a difference? Thanks for stopping by and linking up.

  2. Maria (@Mbette827)

    You’re right that is a dark story. I was hooked until the end, hoping some epiphany would cross these two siblings to change their ways. I like what you’ve explored here: the idea that family isn’t about who’s in it, but what one makes (or in their case what one doesn’t) make out of it.

    • Nicola Young

      Yes, for some reason, a happy ending wasn’t going to come out of my head today! It’s sad that the children couldn’t be saved, despite being put in a different environment.

  3. Emily Organ

    Crikey! I wasn’t expecting the ending to be like that. I like the way you compare two extremes of parenting to show what a toxic mix something like that could create. The scary thing is that it’s believable too! I can imagine this happening. A very powerful story which I enjoyed despite the subject matter. I apologise for not joining in this week, it’s been a tricky one with lots of illness (including myself) so I’ve got NO writing or editing done at all : ( I promise I’ll be back joining in next week x

    • Nicola Young

      I think it can happen too, especially when those crucial early years are damaged. Hope you feel bettet soon. Have a good weekend.

  4. sophieblovett

    Yep, definitely morbid! A powerful story though. It almost reads as a synopsis of something longer – it could make a great novel, though maybe a bit too dark to delve deeper into those characters! Hoping to join in with Friday Fiction again soon – I’m a bit consumed by the edit at the moment so don’t have much headspace for other fiction… X

    • Nicola Young

      I think definitely too dark to delve deeper in to. Not sure i would have that in me. I know what you mean re the editing. Look forward to seeing you back when you have a break.

  5. mummyshambles

    Blimey, this is a powerful story. It describes very well the harm that abusive parents can do to their children. Have to feel sorry for the ‘new’ parents. Fab writing of a dark subject. x

    • Nicola Young

      Thanks. It just goes to show where a prompt can take you!

  6. lisaslife1970

    Wow, you didn’t sugar coat that! Brilliant writing.

  7. Sara (@mumturnedmom)

    Goodness! Dark indeed, but very good, and sadly something that could easily happen. Brilliant piece, thank you so much for sharing with #ThePrompt x



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