Friday Fiction - Nikki Young Writes

Friday Fiction – The Mistakes We Make

For my Friday Fiction post this week, I am having my first go at The Prompt, from Sarah at Mum Turned Mom. I am delving into the mind of one of the secondary characters of my story, to write this from his point of view. Thank you to all who joined in and linked up their own work last week. The link is open as usual.

I took my first steps down the road to self-destruction on the last night that we were all together. Aimee would never have cheated on me; I know that and I always knew it. But I let my stupid pride get in the way when I saw him kissing her that night. I didn’t stop to think that he was doing it on purpose to get at me. He wanted something that was mine and he wasn’t going to stop until he had destroyed what we had.

It worked. I believed him when he said he was in love with my girl. I wouldn’t listen to her side of the story and because of that I lost her. As far as I was concerned if she wanted him, she could have him. Eventually she gave up trying to convince me otherwise.

A month later, she disappeared. The police questioned me and arrested me as a murder suspect. I hated her for that. By running away, she destroyed my life. Everyone thought I was guilty, even though there was no body and no evidence against me. I couldn’t get away from it.

I had to leave. I had to start a new life, but I didn’t know where to go. My head was a mess. It was a mixture of anger, resentment and hate: a dangerous mix. I went travelling, hit the road, the bottle and screwed my way around the world. I took risks and I didn’t give a damn about the outcome.

Then I had the accident. I shouldn’t have gone out on that bike. The roads were winding and it was raining hard. I had been drinking and I thought I was invincible. Strangely, when I went over that ravine I felt at peace. I didn’t think about the pain, didn’t feel any panic, I just felt relief that it was all going to be over.

Waking up in hospital unable to move was the worst thing. I survived – couldn’t even get that right. Lying in that hospital bed, alone and unable to do anything or move, all I could do was go over and over the mess I had made of things. With a mind full of regrets, I began to analyse my life. I couldn’t help but think about the mistakes we make, how one thing can lead to another, and before you know it, there’s a trail of catastrophic destruction behind you.

My biggest mistake of all was letting the one good thing in my life go. Perhaps I was responsible for her death. I didn’t kill her with my own bare hands, but if I’d only listened to her, believed her when she told me that she didn’t love him, she loved me. May be none of the rest would have happened. May be she would still be with me today. The pain of knowing this runs sharply through my body. It is a pain worse than any other I have endured.


Nikki Young Writes
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Comments (0)

  1. redpeffer 10th October 2014 at 9:35 am

    You convey the sense of regret very well. It’s almost palpable. I can almost hear them churning away.

  2. maddy@writingbubble 10th October 2014 at 12:07 pm

    You really pulled me into this character’s world! He was a fool but at least he realises it. But what an awful way to realise the mistakes he made now it’s too late for him and her! I really feel for him.

    Given he’s a secondary character in your book, do we find out anything about his self destruction and crash in the book or does he just leave town and that’s that?

    It’s interesting to develop characters in this way I think, and makes them more real when they don’t just disappear off the page into nothingness but have a whole other life, even if we never read about it.
    Great use of #theprompt and thanks for hosting #fridayfiction

  3. Nicola Young 10th October 2014 at 1:40 pm

    He has returned after the accident and so we get to find out a little about it, but nothing in depth.

  4. mummyshambles 10th October 2014 at 2:55 pm

    Loved this!
    I feel sorry for him but his decent into the hole that he’s in is of his own making. Poor sod. 🙁

  5. Emily Organ 10th October 2014 at 5:12 pm

    What a brilliant backstory he has. And I’m thinking she could still be alive? There are lots of possible stories leading from this. I like the strong sense of regret.

  6. Mummy Tries 10th October 2014 at 7:28 pm

    Is this part of your actual book Nikki? It’s fab, and I am desperate to know more! Lots of mystery here and wondering what is going to happen next #ThePrompt

  7. John Adams 10th October 2014 at 7:59 pm

    Lot of suspense and love the matter of fact delivery. I really want to know if she is still alive #theprompt

  8. Sara (@mumturnedmom) 11th October 2014 at 11:34 pm

    I really, really enjoyed reading this. I got such a sense of his character and his regret. Glad to hear that he does feature a little in the book, I want to know more about him 🙂 Thank you so much for linking up to #ThePrompt, sorry I didn’t have anything for you this week… next week hopefully 🙂

  9. sophieblovett 12th October 2014 at 5:27 pm

    Oooh intriguing… And fascinating as this character is, it really makes me want to find out more Aimee’s story too. I found this week’s prompt really useful for character development as well 🙂

  10. Pingback: What I'm Writing - Reading makes a difference - The Muddled ManuscriptThe Muddled Manuscript

  11. deskmonkeymummy 14th October 2014 at 12:30 pm

    Loved the way it all spiralled out of control for your main character.
    I think this would make an excellent novel, dipping into the things that he did when he was on the path to destruction and extending the opening sequences to make us really hate the mystery guy. That said, as a short, I definitely empathise with your main character and it works well x

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