I don’t think about my dad in the negative sense so much anymore. He died eleven years ago, so I have reached the stage where I can recall the good times and smile and joke about some of the funny things he used to get up to (which are plentiful).
The only time I really get sad is on the anniversary of the day he died. I can’t help but think back to that day. It was just so awful that I won’t ever be able to forget it. The 20th April happened to be an Easter Sunday that year, but luckily Easter changes every year and it hasn’t clashed with his anniversary since.
But this year is different. Easter Sunday is once again the 20th April, so it’s going to be a strange day for me. On the one hand, we will go to church and join in what is supposed to be a celebration, then we will come home and enjoy the children discovering what the Easter Bunny has left for them. But on top of all that I will have to try and deal with my own emotions about an Easter Sunday that I experienced eleven years earlier. It’s going to be tough, I just know it.
So I will light a candle for my dad on Sunday, like I always do at Easter, only this year it will be more poignant than ever. The candle is a symbol of light, burning in remembrance of someone who is no longer with us, but who is hopefully in a better place, free from all suffering and pain. It may only be a gesture, but it’s a nice thing to do and it helps in some way.
If you are missing a loved one this Easter, I hope you find a way to mark their passing and remember them. Think of what you had and shared rather than what you have lost and hopefully the good memories will make you smile.