Friday Fiction – The Mistakes We Make

by | Oct 10, 2014

For my Friday Fiction post this week, I am having my first go at The Prompt, from Sarah at Mum Turned Mom. I am delving into the mind of one of the secondary characters of my story, to write this from his point of view. Thank you to all who joined in and linked up their own work last week. The link is open as usual.

I took my first steps down the road to self-destruction on the last night that we were all together. Aimee would never have cheated on me; I know that and I always knew it. But I let my stupid pride get in the way when I saw him kissing her that night. I didn’t stop to think that he was doing it on purpose to get at me. He wanted something that was mine and he wasn’t going to stop until he had destroyed what we had.

It worked. I believed him when he said he was in love with my girl. I wouldn’t listen to her side of the story and because of that I lost her. As far as I was concerned if she wanted him, she could have him. Eventually she gave up trying to convince me otherwise.

A month later, she disappeared. The police questioned me and arrested me as a murder suspect. I hated her for that. By running away, she destroyed my life. Everyone thought I was guilty, even though there was no body and no evidence against me. I couldn’t get away from it.

I had to leave. I had to start a new life, but I didn’t know where to go. My head was a mess. It was a mixture of anger, resentment and hate: a dangerous mix. I went travelling, hit the road, the bottle and screwed my way around the world. I took risks and I didn’t give a damn about the outcome.

Then I had the accident. I shouldn’t have gone out on that bike. The roads were winding and it was raining hard. I had been drinking and I thought I was invincible. Strangely, when I went over that ravine I felt at peace. I didn’t think about the pain, didn’t feel any panic, I just felt relief that it was all going to be over.

Waking up in hospital unable to move was the worst thing. I survived – couldn’t even get that right. Lying in that hospital bed, alone and unable to do anything or move, all I could do was go over and over the mess I had made of things. With a mind full of regrets, I began to analyse my life. I couldn’t help but think about the mistakes we make, how one thing can lead to another, and before you know it, there’s a trail of catastrophic destruction behind you.

My biggest mistake of all was letting the one good thing in my life go. Perhaps I was responsible for her death. I didn’t kill her with my own bare hands, but if I’d only listened to her, believed her when she told me that she didn’t love him, she loved me. May be none of the rest would have happened. May be she would still be with me today. The pain of knowing this runs sharply through my body. It is a pain worse than any other I have endured.

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Nikki Young Writes
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18 Comments

  1. redpeffer

    You convey the sense of regret very well. It’s almost palpable. I can almost hear them churning away.

    Reply
    • Nicola Young

      Thanks. This week’s prompt fitted really well for tips character.

      Reply
  2. maddy@writingbubble

    You really pulled me into this character’s world! He was a fool but at least he realises it. But what an awful way to realise the mistakes he made now it’s too late for him and her! I really feel for him.

    Given he’s a secondary character in your book, do we find out anything about his self destruction and crash in the book or does he just leave town and that’s that?

    It’s interesting to develop characters in this way I think, and makes them more real when they don’t just disappear off the page into nothingness but have a whole other life, even if we never read about it.
    Great use of #theprompt and thanks for hosting #fridayfiction

    Reply
  3. Nicola Young

    He has returned after the accident and so we get to find out a little about it, but nothing in depth.

    Reply
  4. mummyshambles

    Brilliant!
    Loved this!
    I feel sorry for him but his decent into the hole that he’s in is of his own making. Poor sod. 🙁

    Reply
    • Nicola Young

      Yes his downfall was his own making but it ended with him unable to walk, so I think he may have learned his lesson.

      Reply
  5. Emily Organ

    What a brilliant backstory he has. And I’m thinking she could still be alive? There are lots of possible stories leading from this. I like the strong sense of regret.

    Reply
    • Nicola Young

      Interesting thought process. Don’t know whether I should tell you or not!

      Reply
  6. Mummy Tries

    Is this part of your actual book Nikki? It’s fab, and I am desperate to know more! Lots of mystery here and wondering what is going to happen next #ThePrompt

    Reply
    • Nicola Young

      The character is but the scene itself isn’t. The things he is referring to are part if the story though.

      Reply
  7. John Adams

    Lot of suspense and love the matter of fact delivery. I really want to know if she is still alive #theprompt

    Reply
    • Nicola Young

      I didn’t have this in mind when I wrote this piece. It’s interesting that this has come up in conversation.

      Reply
  8. Sara (@mumturnedmom)

    I really, really enjoyed reading this. I got such a sense of his character and his regret. Glad to hear that he does feature a little in the book, I want to know more about him 🙂 Thank you so much for linking up to #ThePrompt, sorry I didn’t have anything for you this week… next week hopefully 🙂

    Reply
    • Nicola Young

      Thanks, Sara. I enjoyed doing it. It was a good exercise for me.

      Reply
  9. sophieblovett

    Oooh intriguing… And fascinating as this character is, it really makes me want to find out more Aimee’s story too. I found this week’s prompt really useful for character development as well 🙂

    Reply
  10. deskmonkeymummy

    Loved the way it all spiralled out of control for your main character.
    I think this would make an excellent novel, dipping into the things that he did when he was on the path to destruction and extending the opening sequences to make us really hate the mystery guy. That said, as a short, I definitely empathise with your main character and it works well x

    Reply
    • Nicola Young

      Ooh I never thought of giving him his own story. Hmm, goes away to think…

      Reply

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  1. What I'm Writing - Reading makes a difference - The Muddled ManuscriptThe Muddled Manuscript - […] part of #fridayfiction, I posted the opening scene from the book I’ve been editing. I was particularly proud of…

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